19 [13 Apr 2004|01:48pm] [ mood | refreshed ] So, it's my birthday... and I came to a conclusion last night; since people do "new years resolutions" or whatever, and there's that whole thing about "what you do at midnight is what you'll be doing for the next year" or something, or maybe there isn't even anything like that, but I do remember hearing something about it once.. so, anyway, what I'm saying is that I've made sort of a new year's resolution, but starting at midnight on my birthday, since that's really a new year for me.. and my resolution is to actually pursue my dream fully focused on it for an entire year, along with Marc and Burton and whoever else plays bass for us.. and, then we can see where we are in a year of playing everyday and truly living for our music. we're all finally out of school right now, and have the ability to move in together and do what we need to do... and at midnight last night I was still playing my guitar working on a song with Burton... so, that's what I'm going to be doing for the next year. I guess the title of this Live Journal doesn't really fit anymore since I won't be living out of my van while traveling across the U.S., but that still may happen in a year, we'll see. For now, however, I'll be living in Portage, IN just a few miles from the Indiana Dunes and I love Lake Michigan, so this next year should be pretty amazing. We'll be playing and hanging out with the phoenix rising a lot, and it'll be nice to finally have some friends that live for music too.. it'll make the world seem a little less empty I think. well, i just want to say that my dad needs to be kept in everyones prayers if for all of you that are into that sorta thing... he really needs help, and I hope to help him as much as I can while I'm living in the same town as him. on a side note.. if you don't already know who The Phoenix Rising are then go to www.thephoenixrising.net - they are truly a band that reminds me why I make music. love, -josh 1 || Never Say

[05 Apr 2004|01:58am] [ mood | defeated ] i'm not sure what this means. or what anything means. and im actually not even sure if the only thing i know is that i dont really know anything... so, how much more confused can i really be? Where do I go from here? im aging so fast, i dont recognize my reflection.. its just something i accept, without question... and now my determination to change is draining whatever i have inside me. i need to realize that change isnt growth, and then continue walking in that direction... following whatever light may be reaching for me in the distance. its painful to know that time is limited. or to even know that it might be. i just want everyone to know that i love them, and that sharing my time with whoever i do is the most precious thing i can offer anyone, and its the most beautiful thing anyone could ever offer me. Thanks to whoever/whatever provided me with this stream of conciousness that allows me to feel, think, and experience everything i have and will experience. I hope tomorrow brings us all comfort and content -josh 1 || Never Say

[28 Mar 2004|08:35pm] here i am again awake in a car staring at headlights as they shoot by like stars i would die just to know i have you waiting back at home but these dreams, it seems, just leave me more alone 1 || Never Say

[24 Mar 2004|12:50am] [ mood | restless ]   Never Say

Greetings [24 Mar 2004|12:30am] This message is just sort of my "hello" to anyone who is already checking this. I'm basically just sitting around enjoying the things about home that I know I'll miss.. like the internet for one... though, unfortuanately my sister isn't around to hang out with, and she's one of the things I'll miss the most. But, some things are unavoidable, and I'm sure I'll see her before I go. Anyway, thanks to Bek and Lauren for helping me make this page pretty. You rock. love, -josh 1 || Never Say

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